Speech Glitch

Determination, confidence, and audience-speaker rapport. These three things are important in coming up with a great speech. If you lack a thing or two of these, the speech you had prepared for the longest time will be futile, disappointing, in other words, empty.
It was not really my first time presenting myself with a speech. I have done a lot of speeches before since I was a member of the speech club back when I was a sophomore. What drove me joining this club is that, I want to develop self-confidence in presenting myself in public. I am aware that I lack confidence, and the only way I knew I could overcome this problem of mine is through joining the club. And one more thing pushed me is that, I always love writing, and I want to develop something which I knew I am not so good at. In the club, we were trained to come up with speeches of great relevance and will leave a mark on everybody’s mind. I always feel a tinge of enthusiasm when I finish my notes for a speech, but my being unconfident overshadowed my excitement for the discourse. So, when it is my turn to deliver my speech, I end up mispronouncing, muffling the words and pausing for a while to recall my notes I often forget when all ears and eyes are on me. It is always a great relief for me when I arrive at the end of my speech, but I get disappointed too because I I have more things to say but because of my being introvert, I lost my chances in voicing out my point of view. That’s one more reason why I prefer being a writer rather than a speaker.
The day came we were asked to come up with a speech, I admit I was less interested on it because I knew I was not that good at it. But I was delighted to hear that we will create a speech that will introduce our seatmates which means that I don’t have to elaborate points, explain things further and the like. I was ecstatic on interviewing Anthonette, and we were able to think of a theme for our speeches that will be remarkable to all. We were then happy to come up with TV show parodies as an introduction. The day came I shall be delivering my speech. I was memorizing every line and detail of it before my name was called. Finally, I was asked to deliver my speech, and I felt apologetic for it was addressed to my classmates and I found it very inappropriate since my classmates were not there as the audience but instead, it was only between me and Ms. Gonzales.Then, I started my speech with the famous “deal or no deal” question and I felt happy; I saw my classmates’ smiling faces who were around that time and heard my speech. I was a bit satisfied. But when I went on with my speech, I felt nervous, and realized that my hands were all cold and sweaty once again, and felt the feeling that was very similar to the one I felt when I delivered my very first speech to an audience whom are merely strangers to me. I started panicking, for I was mispronouncing the words again, and forgot some fragments of the speech I had prepared for days. I tried to calm down, paused for a while and recalled the things I had forgotten, and started rebuilding my thoughts. I went on with it and finished it. It was a great relief. Then I felt the same again, disappointed for I knew I have more things to tell. I must say my apologies to my partner because I have not done my best to tell what a wonderful person she is. It was a bleak and dull moment. I wanted to repeat the whole speech. I want to deliver it with confidence and pride. Because the person I am about to introduce is someone whom everybody should be really proud of.
True it is, the greatest punch is no match to the greatest determination. I want to gain self-confidence. I want to defeat my so-called stage fright. I want to be freed from the ghost inside me because I know I have more things to offer, more things to express, and more things to prove. I hope that these things will serve as a learning experience, and let this be a turning point so I could change for the better me. Lucky are the ones who were given talents and enough confidence, I just hope they use this talent wisely and righteously, for words are more powerful than bombs. Whew!

I MIGHT not be able to visit my blog in the coming days, I'll be preparing for my UPCAT exams next Saturday, August 4. Wish me luck and Pray for me!

My greatest thanks to Kuya Adrian, Ate Anna, Allen, Che, JC, Tito Rey, TIta Pinky, Tito Benjie, Tita O, The Light!,She!, Ayel and to my classmates who prayed for my lolo! He's going back home tomorrow, and doing fine. I just hope he'll recover quickly and the therapy'll turn out well. Thanks a lot!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

The followers of Harry finally receives satisfaction as they bought the seventh and the last installment of Harry Potter,entitled as Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows magicked by its creator, J.K. Rowling. The said book was released today worldwide. Potter fans piled up to the nearest bookshop to grab their own copy of the most-awaited completion of Rowling's world-renowned saga . Potter fans wearing Hogwarts uniform in UK spent nights of waiting for the release of the last book. Rumors and false spoilers went on with flying colours before the release of the book, as it was anticipated by fans. Clearly, fans will soon find out what's behind the most controversial book of the series at first hand now that the book is finally released. Here are the covers of Harry Potter and the Deathly Halllows: Children's cover(UK), Adult's Cover (UK), and American Version respectively.

SPOILERS Galore! Please don't read the following if you don't want to see a glimpse of the final book. I don't want you to hate me for this!

My brother did searched for some spoilers, but I have no idea if this spoiler he found's true. But I think this one is credible, the author accounts it blow by blow in every chapters.You judge. Here's a bit.

• A closest friend of Harry dies.
  
• An ex-Defense against the Dark Arts teacher and member of the order dies.
  
• A Weasley dies (this death occurs before the wedding, inevitably throwing events into chaos).
• Voldemort dies.
• The double agent dies.

That closest friend of Harry is actually murdered by Bellatrix Lestrange (according to the spoiler) and Neville finishes her off. Horcruxes are destroyed. HARRY IS NOT A HORCRUX. McGonagall's the new headmistress (surely, she's the deputy headmistress of Hogwarts, as mentioned in books one and six) The whereabouts of Harry after the story? He became a freelance auror and decided not to work for the ministry.

Want to find out more? Just hit my tagboard or leave a comment if you still want more of the spoiler. I won't post the URL of the spoiler for I don't want to divulge it all. Sure there are some who won't appreciate the book if I did. And so do I. I think I've lost a percent or two of my enthusiasm for the book.

I'm so sad for_ _ _, _ _ _ _ _ _ has to make it short in the final movie. Sad. So that's another spoiler there.

Oh I hate spoilers!

Samson

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed
And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light
Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed
Told me that my hair was red
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed
Oh I cut his hair myself one night
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light
And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed
Not much hair left on his head
Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one
And history books forgot about us
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first

I love this song. May something dito, ewan ko ba, tear-jerker. Bitter? hehehe

Bad News

We were just informed early this afternoon, my Lolo suffered from mild stroke. He was rushed to the hospital this morning and is currently under observation in ICU. If only I could make it to Davao. I miss my lolo and lola. Please include them in your prayers. Thanks for your kindness. love you guys soo much!


I'd like to thank these people who showed great concern and extended their help: Kuya Adrian, Ate Anna, Allen, The Light Staffers, and cousins. Thanks soo much!

Thanatophobia

Yesterday, I was browsing on some articles for me to get the idea what to write for the school paper. And I found myself reading Sachiko Estreller's article for PDI's Youngblood. It was a great relief for me reading her article, for we share a common thing. Thanatophobia.

I believe death is something we are not so oblivious about. Everyone knows one has to die, even things of no life perish. I hate it when I encounter the word death, for hearing such word meant losing my loved ones. I cannot imagine myself so lonely, so empty, without them. It is never easy to accept that they have to die. We all have to die. So I guess I have a valid reason to be afraid of death. That is, being lonely.

I have witnessed death myself. Sad to say, it is my brother's death. I realized, it is never easy to let go of someone whom you have spent your life with for years. It is never easy to accept that a person who is one of the people you treasure the most must go in an instant. It is never easy to be lonely, so lonely that you care less of your self and cry your heart out until the last tear drops from one's eyes. It is never easy to hear your parents' grievances for the lost of their son. It is never easy to pretend as if nothing happened. It is never easy to get on with a conversation about the death of a loved one. It is never easy to utter the same words about the cause of death of a loved one. It is never easy to say the words "I love you" to a person whom you think you haven't expressed your love ever.It is never easy to be pitied by people. It is never easy to deal with people with a snake for a tongue. It is never easy. I realized all these things upon the death of my brother. I knew that I am surrounded by people of every hue and material. Some are plastics, some are sympathetic, and some are blasphemous. But these things are just my sentiments.

It is said that one who fears death fears revelation. I do not fear God, for I believe I haven't done anything for me to fear facing Him. It is just that, I am afraid of not breathing, seeing myself lying in a coffin, hear the sober of my family and friends. I don't want to make things hard for them. I don't want to make them sad. Nor do I want to do the same things to them. I hate saying goodbye. To let go for me is a huge challenge.

After the death of my brother, I've been constantly dreaming of my friends' and family's death. The death of my elder brother, death of my cousin, death of my grandma and the most striking of all, the death of my father. I remember that night, when I woke up, sweating and gasping for air to breathe, and wailing about that dream. I was really afraid that the first thing I did was to check my dad if he's still alive. Thank God, he is very much alive. I was really afraid that I woke him up, and told him that I love him very much. I know this might sound too childish for you, but I am afraid to be left alone. Thanatopsis still haunts me in my dreams. Right before I sleep, the forum of multi-persons inside the conference room of my mind allots time thinking of what age will I die and how will I die. I imagine myself boxed in a huge shoe box-like white coffin, and wondering what I wear and how I look. I am frenzied about my death. Sometimes, I pinch my left hand to check if I'm still alive or not. Believe me, I do these things. But I must say, I am mentally healthy.

I believe I am of normal behavior. I assure you that. Still I can't get away with my thanatophobia. But I am trying to overcome this fear of mine and be enthusiastic for my most-awaited eye ball with God. When I read Ms. Estreller's article, I just took a deep breath and whispered, "oh well, it's not only me after all! Thank God, I'm normal!"

So this is a great entry for Friday the Thirteenth

Sino ba Adik jan?!

hayyy saya 12 noon uwian. Wahaha. Kaya lang ang sama ng epekto ng 7/7/7 sa'kin. Nagkasakit ako. Asthma, fever, you name it! Sinumpa yata yung recto. Mukhang ayoko nang bumalik dun.

Golden boy pala si Monsi kaya ganun-ganun na lang pagwawaldas ng pera namin, este pera pala ng school. Buti at hindi kami nagcover kung hindi magsu-suicide ako. Biro lang. Kamusta naman at may meeting kami at 4 p.m.? samantalang 12 noon ang uwian?! Buti at naisipan ni Ms. Ed na i-postpone. Thank You Lord.Napasabak ako sa gawaan ng bulletin board ulit. (nanaman?!, taon-taon na lang.) Buti na lang at absent ako last friday, may poster-making contest. Wahahaha. Swerte. Swerte derived from real malas. Ayun pala yun. Nauna malas bago swerte. Ay hindi nauna swerte bago malas. Ay, whatever.

At mid-term exams next week. Ang bilis. Pero ayos na yun, tapos P.T. Parang dinaanan lang Senior high.

HELP! Sino ba adik jan? O ex drug-dependent? Raise your right hand! Sige na, I NEED (as in capital N-E-E-D) to have an interview with you! (if you are raising your right hand right now.)
Kasi sa lahat naman ng hahalughugin at gagambalain drug addict pa?

Lord, sana tuwing thursday na lang Asthma attack ko para wala ako P.E., or would love to have an invisible puffers. Pahirap na asthma. .

.Ang saklap naman ng Harry Potter, sold out kagad tickets sa MOA. Bakit kasi isa lang iMax...tsk..tsk..
at may kumakalat na kaagad na spoiler ng HP7 sa school?! magaling nauna pa sa author at publisher!

7/7/7 hoax?

7.7.7 Saya. Siguro lugi na ngayon ABS-CBN?? Bukambibig ng tao siyete ngayon eh. hahaha.
Swerte nga ba? Parang hindi naman. Ay swerte kasi walang homework. Yun ang swerte.
So what makes seven lucky?Wala lang. Di ko rin alam eh. Ewan ko ba, mga pinaniniwalaan ng tao, hindi mo na rin maintindihan kung minsan!

Ay galing pala ako ng Recto kanina! yipee, nakarating din ako ng recto. Hahaha what an achievement! Di pa kasi ako nakarating dun kahit kelan. Tapos nakarating din ako ng Isettan! hahaha, hindi rin kasi ako napapadpad dun eh. wala lang. Naghanap kasi ako ng books for school.
O yun, swerte yun kasi nahanap ko.wahehehe.

Things to remember before going to recto.
1. Never go to recto alone.
2. Never put your purse or wallet at the back of your pants.
3. Leave your phone at home
4. Bring an umbrella
and lastly, NEVER wear closed shoes or high heels.
remember that.

Ang Kinabukasan Ko (kung saka-sakali)

naadik na ako sa Need For Speed Own the city Carbon! woooh! Galeng! lalo ko tuloy gustong matutong magdrive. Drag Racing? Pwede rin? hahaha! kidding. Would you believe I can actually drive?! kaya lang sa laro lang. So sad. Matututunan ko din yan. And hoping when the time comes, I would be driving my own car.(yes naman,palakpakan!)Hahaha aliw 'tong laro na 'to kasi,kasi, basta masaya!Ang galing may crew race pa, tulung-tulungan! Kaya lang hindi pwede sa mga bata, kung nilaro nila to, di malabong maging mga holdaper o kung anong klase pang kriminal ang gustuhin nila. May habulan scene pa with the police! Hahaha, sabi ko nga, ang kinabukasan ko, kung saka-sakali ay maging isang kriminal,yung mala-Lupin. Hindi yung sa TV ah, yung sa anime. O carnapper, o basta nagpapahabol sa pulis. Kasi ang galing kong tumakas. Kada takas, may bayad.1,600. O, san ka pa? tumatakas ka na, may bayad pa!Tapos ang galeng kahit ilang bangga pa ng sasakyan o gasgas pa abutin mo sa gutter, voila! Walang gasgas o kung ano pang yupe sa kotse mo. How we wish may ganyan talagang mga sasakyan?! I recommend this game for grown-ups na lang, masama para sa mga kids eh. Sorry kids.

Good news! weeee, 12 noon uwian sa monday! woohoo! Thank you lord at natakdang monday birthday ni Monsi (Monsignor Albert, our school director), kaya lang, crap, baka magcover kami! kasi naman eh, bakit news pa!Kainis!Pero swerte pa rin yun, at least walang class. yehey.
BTW, I was just informed by the great blogs of ayel ang aethen that there will be new seven wonders of the world? cool huh? di ba parang unfair sa mga lumang seven wonders? bakit di na lang idagdag! So sad, hindi pasok Banaue Rice Terraces. Thanks to you guys, dahil sa inyo, meron pa akong dignidad!Niligtas niyo ako sa kahihiyan! Naturingan pa man din akong "world's greatest traveller-wannabe?" hehehe!
Kayo? ano ba maco-consider niyong blessing na nangyari sa inyo ngayon?

I just want to share this poem to you. wala lang.

Staring on an empty page
Dithered thoughts amongst wonders
trapped inside a house
but never felt like home

Now I feel but none
looking through the depths of my mind
still lost, without knowing
I have nowhere to return to.

I see nothing but darkness
through a cloudy pair of eyes
But I never thought those clouds meant
My dear, there's the rainbow, can't you see?

The tale of the stupid name plate

I'm on the third day of this week, feeling tired ,über-stressed and sick. Good thing it's the boys' turn to be on the death row for CAT. So yey. I'm just hoping we don't have any meetings for The light. Okay, so where should I start? Just baked this not-so-good-looking butterscotch during our TLE class. It was blazing hot inside the lab and we have no choice but to deal with it. So, two groups were permitted to do the activity, and the rest of the groups will have to wait for their turn tomorrow. Would you believe, our TLE teacher is a "no-miss"? Yep, I was really surprised to find out that this teacher,though he's new to our school, has things to offer.Weird for a man to teach such subject. I prejudged him. Silly me. So went on with baking, it was fun, though it wasn't my first time to bake. Just reminded me of the summer days, me, ate and my cousins baked carrot cake. Yum. And how I miss vacation?

So on my way home, I rode this ancient Sarao jeep. Seated at the last seat, I was thinking about some things about school. And this guy, opposite me was staring at me. I dunno. He's not familiar to me. So, got my mirror out and checked if I got dirt or something on my face. There was none. So I asked this guy"kilala ko po ba kayo?" just added "po" but I guess he's just two or three year older than me. So he answered back, "ah hindi, pero kilala kita." What the hell? I haven't seen him before and I'm sure of it. He is not a neighbor, nor a brother's friend, nor a brother's friend's friend. So he was mainly looking at me all throughout the trip. I often catch him looking at me, I just stare back at him, then put away my tired eyes away from his scene. So this long-statured guy finally gave his hint for the manong driver to stop, then uttered these words:"bye tricia". He knew my name! Damn. Who are you? Then as he got up from his seat, he handed me this not-so-good-laminated something. Guess what? It's my name plate! Oh God, sa lahat ng malalaglag, name plate ko pa! dyahe!


Lord, literary na lang please! Palitan niyo na News! waaaaa....
by the way, I want to quote iko for this: "campus journalists can be fashionable too you know"
Currently on a race with my nose. I hate colds!

The kid in me

Last Sunday, I went to Fojas(grandma's) and supposed to meet Mariel and IC, and Tita Chie. Nanghingi kasi ako ng lupa kay Tita Chie. Sosyalan ba? Nanghingi ng lupa? Tagapagmana kasi ako.hahaha.Hindi I meant garden soil for my narra seed. Kasi project namin is to plant that narra seed. Anyway, wala naman akong napala dahil ININDIAN NILA AKONG LAHAT! Si IC and Mariel, went to SM to buy stuffs, while Tita Chie decided not to go since my other tito just arrived before she was about to go to Fojas. Hay buhay. At dumating ako doon ng 3 pm yata. At nadatnan sila Mara and Camille, my younger cousins. The usual kulitan, I danced with them (can you actually believe it? I'm dancing?! hahahaha!) we danced the very famous "Makulay ang Buhay" dance. Hahaha. Ate "garbage foods", and laughed 'til we dropped. What so weird is that, Mara asked Camille through a whisper (I can hear yah! Next time try to make it a little more like a real whisper. Hahaha!) why do I play with them, and make a fool out of me considering the fact that I am four or five years older. I told them ahh, bakit masama ba? Ayaw niyo ba? Sabi ni Mara okay nga daw, kasi unlike daw her elder sister Mariel, and so with IC, they don't fool around with them that often. Eh ako, kahit saan, kahit kelan, maasahan! hahaha! Eh ano magagawa ko, eh ganun ako eh! loka-loka. More like a clown, but never like pretender. Naalala ko tuloy nung bata pa ako..I remember the days...hahaha. Makulit din ako nung bata. But I guess I haven't get over yet on being like a child. I love it being a kid. Super careless, with no things to worry about, with no consequences to consider.Hay, saya. If I could only turn back the time...No I am not pertaining that I have something to change with my childhood, but there are a lot of things to be improved, if only I am given another chance. Kung masaya dati, gagawin kong super, super, super saya! hehehe!btw, Does anyone of you know that I and my cousins were once print endorsers of a local candy brand? Yep, believe it or not. Through the connections of my Tita O. hehehe.

Speaking of Tita O, bumalik na sila from Hawaii! Yey! dito na ulit si Joey! And how I miss my little boy? Ang hirap pala sa Honolulu, If you prefer to be called by the name you want, you can never have it there. Sa kanila, kung ano pangalan mo, yun na yun. Kagaya ni joey, Joey's full name is Jose Roberto, and called by his relatives there as Jose (pronounced as /howzei/). Eh kunwari pangalan mo tulad nung kay JoArt whose full name is Jose Arturo? eh di pangalan mo dun /Ahrtsurow/? hehehe! Kidding aside, this is their "last stay" for the mean time, kasi once they get back to hawaii, permanent na sila. So we have to make the most out of their stay. Hayyyy...Pero magkikita naman kami sa Sunday. BTW, my mom told me she had a chat with Joey on the phone, He was asked then to tell storied about his stay there, and he told my mom this line:" (name of Joey's cousin, not so sure about her name) told me, "Jose, you're a flirt!" So kamusta naman? Kids these days know what flirt means.Matatalinong bata, yet kailangan ng superb supervision talaga ng parents. hehehehe.

BTW, been told that I'll be working on with news sa The Light. Sa lahat naman ng area, news pa?Ayokong mag-interview! Literary na lang please! Please Ms. Ed!